I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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