Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
