Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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