Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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