You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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