I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
