the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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