Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
