the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
