I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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