Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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