check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
my liver is dry heaving
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
