Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
