Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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