I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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