And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
