Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
