why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
