she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
