So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
