i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
