dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
