Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
