first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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