I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
