I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
