I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
