Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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