I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
