Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
