My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
