I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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