And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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