I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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