ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
