You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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