ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
