If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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