Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
