You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
