Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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