I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
