Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
