guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
