it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
