being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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