Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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