I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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