i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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