Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
