We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
