the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
